Interpersonal Effectiveness
Validation Practice Worksheet
Practice the six levels of validation in a real scenario—observe, reflect, read minds, understand in context, normalize, and show equality.
Tip: jot notes below, then print or “Save as PDF.”
How to practice it
Move through each step slowly. Notice what the skill asks for and how you can experiment in real life.
1
Choose the Scenario
Describe who you’re validating, what they’re feeling, and why support matters.
2
Level 1 – Be Present
Plan how you will stay mindful: eye contact, open posture, attentive silence.
3
Level 2 – Accurate Reflection
Draft phrases that mirror their words: “You’re feeling…,” “What I’m hearing is…”
4
Level 3 – Reading Between Lines
Note body language/emotions you can name respectfully: “It seems like you’re holding a lot of tension.”
5
Level 4 – Understand in Context
Explain how their reaction makes sense given history, values, or circumstances.
6
Level 5 – Normalize
Share how others might react similarly: “Anyone in your shoes would feel…”
7
Level 6 – Show Equality
Affirm you’re in this together: collaborate, ask what they need, avoid fixing unless invited.
Real-world examples
Try spotting moments like these in your week. Notice how the skill changes the ripple effect of a tough situation.
Example – Friend facing job loss
Present: silence phone. Reflection: “You’re stunned and scared.” Read mind: “I can see your shoulders are tight.” Context: “After all the extra hours you put in, this shock makes sense.” Normalize: “Most people would feel shaken.” Equality: “I’m here with you; what would feel supportive tonight?”
Practice Activity
Plan validation for one upcoming conversation. Afterward, note which levels you used and how it landed.
Which validation levels felt natural? Which felt awkward?
How did the other person respond at each level?
What reminders help you stay present instead of fixing?
What will you try next time to deepen validation?
Want to practice interpersonal effectiveness with the WithMarsha app?
WithMarsha guides you through this skill in real time, keeps track of your practice, and helps you build your DBT toolkit day by day.
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