Distress Tolerance
Reality Acceptance Checklist
Audit how you relate to a painful situation—spot resistance, choose acceptance strategies, and track what helps you stay willing.
Tip: jot notes below, then print or “Save as PDF.”
How to practice it
Move through each step slowly. Notice what the skill asks for and how you can experiment in real life.
1
Name the Situation
Describe the facts you are struggling to accept. Keep it brief and neutral—who, what, when, where.
2
Check for Resistance Signals
Note any “should” thoughts, blame loops, avoidance behaviors, or tightness in your body that signal non-acceptance.
3
List Acceptance Barriers
Identify what makes acceptance hard (fear of loss, belief it’s unfair, anger at yourself or others, lack of skills).
4
Match Acceptance Skills
Choose strategies that fit: turning the mind, willingness, radical acceptance statements, half-smile, prayer/meditation, or opposite action to bitterness.
5
Confirm Willing Actions
Plan concrete behaviors that demonstrate acceptance—body posture, words you’ll repeat, conversations to schedule, or tasks to complete in spite of discomfort.
Real-world examples
Try spotting moments like these in your week. Notice how the skill changes the ripple effect of a tough situation.
Canceled internship
Situation: summer internship withdrawn. Resistance: “This ruins my career,” doomscrolling, clenched stomach. Barriers: fear of falling behind. Skills: radical acceptance statements, half-smile, turning the mind. Willing actions: email other contacts, update resume tomorrow.
Relationship ending
Situation: partner moved out. Resistance: replaying “They shouldn’t have left.” Barriers: grief, anger. Skills: willingness posture, prayer, fact reminders, opposite action (pack belongings calmly). Actions: schedule therapy, return keys, rest.
Practice Activity
Complete the checklist for one situation you are resisting. Revisit it weekly to track progress toward acceptance.
What reality are you working to accept?
What thoughts, emotions, or behaviors show you are resisting?
Which acceptance skills will you deploy this week?
What willing actions will reinforce acceptance?
Want to practice distress tolerance with the WithMarsha app?
WithMarsha guides you through this skill in real time, keeps track of your practice, and helps you build your DBT toolkit day by day.
Download WithMarsha