Emotion Regulation
Pros & Cons of Changing Emotions
Weigh the benefits and costs of staying with an emotion as-is versus regulating it so you can choose the most effective path.
Tip: jot notes below, then print or “Save as PDF.”
How to practice it
Move through each step slowly. Notice what the skill asks for and how you can experiment in real life.
1
Name the Emotion & Urge
Specify the emotion you are feeling, its intensity (0–10), and the action urge it creates.
2
Pros of Changing the Emotion
List short- and long-term benefits of regulating—more control, better relationships, aligned behavior.
3
Cons of Changing the Emotion
Note the effort, discomfort, or perceived losses involved in using skills.
4
Pros of Not Changing
Capture any payoff from keeping the emotion (e.g., motivation, protection, communication).
5
Cons of Not Changing
Record the costs of letting the emotion run unchecked—impulsive actions, burnout, damaged trust.
Real-world examples
Try spotting moments like these in your week. Notice how the skill changes the ripple effect of a tough situation.
Anger at a teammate
Emotion: anger (8/10). Pros of changing: stay professional, find solutions. Cons: takes time to cool down. Pros of not changing: express hurt. Cons: explode in meeting, damage collaboration. Decision: use TIP skills, set up calm conversation.
Sadness after rejection
Pros of changing: re-engage with friends, get things done. Cons: feels invalidating to move on too fast. Pros of not changing: honor the loss. Cons: risk isolating. Decision: allow sadness tonight, plan opposite action tomorrow.
Practice Activity
Complete the grid for an emotion you faced today. Decide whether to regulate, ride it out, or blend strategies.
What emotion/urge are you evaluating?
What are the strongest pros/cons of changing it?
What are the strongest pros/cons of staying with it?
What choice feels most effective right now?
Want to practice emotion regulation with the WithMarsha app?
WithMarsha guides you through this skill in real time, keeps track of your practice, and helps you build your DBT toolkit day by day.
Download WithMarsha