Interpersonal Effectiveness
GIVE Skills Record
Log how you use GIVE—Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy manner—to strengthen relationships when connection is the priority.
Tip: jot notes below, then print or “Save as PDF.”
How to practice it
Move through each step slowly. Notice what the skill asks for and how you can experiment in real life.
G
Gentle
Be kind, respectful, and avoid attacks. Tone down defensiveness, sarcasm, or raised voices.
I
Interested
Listen actively. Stay present, make eye contact, and show genuine curiosity about their perspective.
V
Validate
Acknowledge what makes sense about their feelings or actions—even if you disagree with the conclusions.
E
Easy Manner
Keep the vibe warm and human. Use a relaxed posture, slight humor, or gentle small talk to lower the temperature.
Real-world examples
Try spotting moments like these in your week. Notice how the skill changes the ripple effect of a tough situation.
Your friend vents about burnout. Instead of problem-solving immediately, you keep your tone gentle, lean in with interested questions, validate how heavy their load is, and add an easy-manner “Want to take a walk while we talk?”
Your teen is upset about a grade. You soften your voice, ask them to tell you what happened, validate the disappointment, and keep things light by joking about your own high-school mishaps before brainstorming together.
Practice Activity
Record three conversations this week where the relationship was your focus. After each one, reflect on how you used GIVE.
Gentle: What words, tone, or posture kept things kind?
Interested: How did you show you were truly listening?
Validate: What did you reflect back or normalize?
Easy manner: How did you lighten the mood or keep it human?
What will you repeat or adjust next time to stay connected?
Want to practice interpersonal effectiveness with the WithMarsha app?
WithMarsha guides you through this skill in real time, keeps track of your practice, and helps you build your DBT toolkit day by day.
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