Interpersonal Effectiveness
FAST Skills Log
Use the FAST Skills Log to plan and review interactions where self-respect is the priority—Fair, (appropriate) Apologies, Stick to values, Truthful.
Tip: jot notes below, then print or “Save as PDF.”
How to practice it
Move through each step slowly. Notice what the skill asks for and how you can experiment in real life.
F
Fair
Be fair to yourself and the other person. Stick to the truth; avoid magnifying your faults or minimizing theirs.
A
Apologies (Only When Necessary)
Apologize once if you genuinely made a mistake; don’t over-apologize for having needs, taking up space, or disagreeing.
S
Stick to Values
Align your words and actions with what matters to you—honesty, respect, boundaries, compassion.
T
Truthful
Avoid exaggeration, excuses, or half-truths. Being truthful keeps you grounded in self-respect.
Real-world examples
Try spotting moments like these in your week. Notice how the skill changes the ripple effect of a tough situation.
You’re asked to work late again. You fairly acknowledge the team is under pressure, avoid apologizing for needing rest, stick to your value of sustainable work, and truthfully explain you’ve already committed to family time.
A friend guilt-trips you for missing an event. You validate their disappointment while holding your boundary, skip unnecessary apologies, honor your value of balance, and tell the truth about needing downtime.
Practice Activity
Log two conversations this week where self-respect mattered. Evaluate how well you followed each FAST element.
Fair: How did you balance respect for yourself and the other person?
Apologies: Did you apologize only when appropriate?
Stick to values: Which values guided your choices?
Truthful: Were there moments you held back or exaggerated?
What will you refine before the next conversation?
Want to practice interpersonal effectiveness with the WithMarsha app?
WithMarsha guides you through this skill in real time, keeps track of your practice, and helps you build your DBT toolkit day by day.
Download WithMarsha