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Interpersonal Effectiveness

Interpersonal Conflict Problem Solving

Blend DEAR MAN, GIVE, FAST, and problem-solving steps to resolve conflicts while protecting relationships and self-respect.

What this worksheet is for

Blend DEAR MAN, GIVE, FAST, and problem-solving steps to resolve conflicts while protecting relationships and self-respect.

How to use it

  1. Read the full skill once before writing.
  2. Use the examples below to spot where it fits real life.
  3. Complete the reflection page using the answers you already typed or by writing directly on the PDF.

At a glance

Primary topic: interpersonal conflict problem solving worksheet

Worksheet type: Support worksheet

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Worksheet overview

How to practice it

1

Clarify the Conflict

Describe the issue, each person’s goals, and what triggered the tension. Identify safety or power concerns.

2

Choose Priorities

Rank objective, relationship, and self-respect goals. Decide which DBT skills (DEAR MAN, GIVE, FAST) to emphasize.

3

Brainstorm Options

Generate solutions that address everyone’s needs. Include compromises, timelines, or outside support.

4

Evaluate Pros & Cons

For each option, note the impact on your goals, the relationship, and feasibility.

5

Plan the Conversation

Script key DEAR MAN lines, plan validation (GIVE), and affirm self-respect (FAST). Schedule time/place and supports.

6

Follow Up & Review

After the conversation, document outcomes, emotional responses, and next steps if needed.

Real-world examples

Example – Shared project conflict

Conflict: teammate missing deadlines. Priorities: objective = high, relationship = medium. Options: renegotiate tasks, set check-ins, involve manager. Plan: DEAR MAN request + GIVE tone, follow-up email summary.

Before you write

Pick one situation you are actually likely to face this week. The activity page works best when you complete it for a real moment instead of a hypothetical one.

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Practice guide

Worksheet activity

Practice Activity

Complete the worksheet for your next conflict. Debrief afterward to capture wins and improvements.

Reflect and write

Which priority drove your strategy?

What solution balanced both parties’ needs?

How did DEAR MAN, GIVE, FAST show up in the conversation?

What future follow-up or repair is needed?

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Reflection page