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DBT worksheet export
Willingness vs. Willfulness
Spot where willfulness is keeping you stuck and sketch the willing attitudes and actions that move you back into effective behavior.
What this worksheet is for
Spot where willfulness is keeping you stuck and sketch the willing attitudes and actions that move you back into effective behavior.
How to use it
- Read the full skill once before writing.
- Use the examples below to spot where it fits real life.
- Complete the reflection page using the answers you already typed or by writing directly on the PDF.
At a glance
Primary topic: willingness vs willfulness worksheet
Worksheet type: Secondary worksheet
How to practice it
Describe the Situation
Outline the context where you feel rigid, rebellious, or checked out.
List Willful Responses
Note thoughts (“I won’t”), emotions (anger, stubbornness), body language (crossed arms), and actions (stonewalling, quitting) that show willfulness.
Identify Costs of Willfulness
Capture how willfulness affects goals, relationships, health, or self-respect.
Design Willing Alternatives
Choose attitudes and behaviors that accept reality and act effectively—open posture, “I can try,” collaborating, asking for help.
Plan a Willing Experiment
Set one concrete willing action to try this week. Include when, where, and how you’ll remind yourself to practice.
Real-world examples
Therapy homework resistance
Willful: “It’s pointless,” procrastinating, eye-rolling. Cost: slower progress. Willing: acknowledge fear, schedule 10-minute task block, tell therapist the hardest part.
Work feedback
Willful: “They’re wrong,” shutting down. Cost: missed growth. Willing: listen fully, ask clarifying questions, pilot one suggestion for a week.
Before you write
Pick one situation you are actually likely to face this week. The activity page works best when you complete it for a real moment instead of a hypothetical one.
Worksheet activity
Practice Activity
Complete the worksheet whenever you feel dug in. Check in afterward to note what changed when you practiced willingness.
Reflect and write
Where is willfulness appearing right now?
How is it impacting your goals or relationships?
What would willingness look like in this situation?
What reminder or cue will help you stay willing this week?